Some argue that an emotional affair is harmless because it is more casual than traditional cheating; however, the intimacy of the communication, and the emotional energy invested by the people involved, places an emotional affair on the same level  as traditional cheating or sometimes even worse. Now a days its good to have intimate chat transcripts to file for a divorce on the grounds of infidelity.

Emotional cheating starts when people misunderstand the fundamental rules of marriage. The following are some of the typical signs of emotional affair and are the bright red flags telling you to immediately apply your brakes -

• You enjoy sharing jokes and gossip with friends or colleagues of the opposite sex, instead of your partner.
• You spend as much time and energy buying the right gift for a friend or colleague of the opposite sex as you do for your partner.
• You prefer to discuss your work and sometimes even personal problems thoroughly at work with colleagues of the opposite sex, leaving out your spouse.
• You are enjoying having long lunches or after work drinks with colleagues of the opposite sex – and you seldom talk business.
• You pay extra attention to how you look before you see him or her in the office.

In “Emotional Infidelity: How to Avoid it” Gary Newman  says that emotional cheating is caused by squandered emotional energy and the following are some of the common mistakes that often lead to emotional infidelity -

• Couples no longer focus on their marriage and partnership after children are born.
• Couples try to keep an emotional distance because they don’t wish to have any need of their partner that much.
• Couples spend too much of their emotional energy on people outside their marriage – parents, colleagues, friends etc.

While it is very normal and healthy for people to have friendships outside the marriage with men and women, an emotional affair threatens the emotional bond between spouses, and nothing is more harmful to a marriage than the breakdown of the emotional bond couples have for each other.